Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
