If i come over, it means nothing
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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