okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
