I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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