And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
