I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
