Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
