she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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