can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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