i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
