PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
