Please, let me fuck your mom
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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