I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
