So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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