the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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