Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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