I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
