What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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