My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
