i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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