I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
