I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
