I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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