I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
