He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So gin and wine won't be happening again
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
