Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
