I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
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It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
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Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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