Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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