I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
