Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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