I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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