she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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