Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
