talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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