I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
