i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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