You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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