Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
please come you make the beer taste better
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
