Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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