i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
whose parrot is this?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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