YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
