I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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