Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
