you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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