Will you blow on my dice?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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