Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize