At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
