so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
