exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We're too hungover to prance.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
