It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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