Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
