drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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