Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i out mim tonsoeep
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