it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
