Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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