Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
