Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So apparently I’m into choking now
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
