whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I want to make a zoo with you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
