glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE