i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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